TR EMERITUS

Me in a warehouse on a Sunday night. A few weeks ago, I got reminded that in November of 2007, I wrote a piece called “17 I HAD A BETTER DREAM, NOW I'M 33,” in which I tried to talk about how I had moved from being a dreamy 17-year-old to a slightly more cynical adult at 33. It then occurred to me that quite a few years had passed since then and I in a matter of year, I’ll be turning 50 and one can legally call me “middle-aged.” It's potentially a scary milestone particularly if you haven’t stashed away any money (which I haven’t really) and you might have a few health issues coming up. I use the word “scary” because as much as Singapore claims to be an “Asian Society” that respects the elderly, we actually dispose of the elderly. If you’re patient enough to wait till office hours are over and the beautiful people have gone home, you’re bound to see the elderly collecting tin-cans so that they can earn a few cents to buy a cup of coffee (apparently, some clever minister called it “exercise”). Whilst 50 is not “elderly” per se (as in you can still move), it’s the age where employers start thinking of you as an inconvenience whatever your productivity and healthcare insurers try to price you out of a life (as a reference point, my hospitalization plan was $100 a year and then jumped to $500 a year the day I turned 40). The more the government talks about its generosity towards the “Pioneer,” “Merdeka” and other generations, the reality for most of us is that old age in Singapore equates to a glorious career in cardboard box collecting. So, what can you do about it? I guess the options are simple. Deny the fact that you’ve reached a certain age and encourage Singapore’s legion of Mummy’s Boys and Daddy’s girls who have the physical presence and energy of a 90-year-old (which is actually unfair to 90-year-olds, if my stepdad is anything to go by) and contain the worldly knowledge of a five-year-old (which is unfair to five-year-old's – I remember Christopher at that age) to look like their genuinely attracted to you in return for you pushing buttons on the washing machine when the maid hired by Mummy or Daddy gets that one day of legislated rest. Alternatively, you can enjoy being a certain age and revel in it. Much to the horror of one of my newest (within the last year) and better friends, I actually take enough pride to splash all over social media, the fact that I spent my Sunday night moving close to a hundred boxes of documents from one storage room to another on my own. His reaction was “Dude – shouldn’t you want to move up.” He has however, supported by Facebook page called “ObeseMiddle-Aged Man” where my delusions of being active are posted. He’s a young man with ambition and I get what he’s saying. I get that money is important and so I persevere in my corporate job whilst looking for hustles. Like it or not, I need a “Kill” or two if I am to avoid a career in cardboard box collection. Yes, as I push 50, I understand that money is important and I understand I’m out of the “high-flyer” corporate or civil service career. So, since the accepted path of success is out for me, I need to find different ways. Ironically, it was my 27-year-old godson and intern who reminded me that Colonel Sanders was in his 60s when KFC came about. Whilst pushing into “Middle-Age” can be scary, its also exciting. On the physical front, I’m actually OK and ironically, being told that some form of daily exercise was medically non-negotiable, pushed me into taking my personal fitness seriously. At 49, nobody thinks I’m pregnant, which was what a 7-year-old kiddo once thought when I was 32 (she patted my tummy and said “32 babies.”). Probably not going to achieve my personal goal of being shredded by 50 because I do fall into temptation (I’ve had beer nights after sprint nights) but I actually feel better at 49 than I did at 39 or even 29 where beer night was limited by finances and sprint nights didn’t exist. The other “exciting” thing about pushing into middle-age, is that I have something I never had – clarity. I have a better idea of what I want and don’t want. It’s clear to me that I detest sitting at a desk and staring at a screen. I don’t want to get excited by spreadsheets. So, I gladly accept assignments that take me away from the desk and heavy lifting at work saves me the need to carve out time to work out. I don’t want to give up time for friends and family to work on senseless things or for people I know to be evil. More importantly, this clarity gets especially clear when it comes to the people I want in my life. With the exception of an angel with a host psychosis, I have a pretty clear idea of what certain people in my life can and cannot do. I have a better idea of the people I want in my life and with the exception of a neurotic angel (someone who is disruptive in every sense of the word but at the same time miraculously creates happy coincidences). I have a young man who actually gives me guidance. I have someone around my age who shares my passion for food and brings out the softer side of me. So, as I push 50, I’m actually feeling more confident about things. Yes, many things could go wrong. The world is volatile but I believe I’m better prepared to accept it. So, while I had hope at 33, I’m now 49 and actually clearer about things.   Tang Li *Although I’ve been based mainly in Singapore for nearly two decades, I’ve had the privilege of being able to meet people who have crossed borders and cultures. I’ve befriended ministers and ambassadors and worked on projects involving a former head of state. Yet, at the same time, I’ve had the privilege of befriending migrant labourers and former convicts. All of them have a story to tell. All of them add to the fabric of life. I hope to express the stories that inspire us to create life as it should be.    Read More →

It is with deep regret that we are forced to announce that the TR Emeritus (TRE) website is fast reaching its End Of Life (EOL), sooner than we had expected. We had hoped that we would be able to continue running TRE for at least another 2 years, but circumstances have made it impossible for us to do so as the website is failing fast, logging multiple errors on a daily basis, errors which cannot be rectified without losing some crucial functions of the website. What Happened The errors are caused by TRE currently running on an Operating System (OS) and software that are deprecated, no longer supported and therefore not upgradable. The entire website will fail eventually, if nothing is done about it. To better explain this in non-technical layman's term, picture TRE as a mobile phone that was bought about 5 years ago, running on Android 4. The mobile came with a specially heavily customized main app (custom theme and WordPress running TRE), that is complimented by many other 3rd party apps (both free and paid). As years go by, Android gets upgraded from version 4 to say version 8 and the 3rd party apps followed suit.  Although most 3rd party apps are backward compatible, not all are and slowly and surely, these apps can/will no longer support the functions required by the special app. Since the special app is heavily customized and modified, we did not have it re-coded earlier as it would cost a bomb to ask the same programmer (no longer in business) to update it. The Covid-19 situation then was also very unpredictable, so we left it alone as the situation was not dire. Unfortunately, the situation has gone from moderate to bad. The mobile is currently stuck with a special app that was designed for Android 4, complimented by 3rd party apps that are no longer fully compatible with the special app due to numerous updates (to keep up with Android 8) but still running on Android 4,  resulting in  functions that have been deprecated and/or no longer completely compatible with the special app. The inevitable result would be that the mobile could no longer function as expected and will eventually fail completely. The Only Solution The only option left for us to prevent this, is to perform a complete overhaul of the current system, including but not limited to re-coding and updating the special app to run with new 3rd party apps and Android 8. The entire process is both time and money consuming, and beyond the pay grade of our techie. We would need to enlist the assistance of 3rd parties to effect the necessary. Currently we have a best quote of US$100 per hour and the entire re-coding and upgrading of TRE is expected to take about 3 to 5 days, at an estimated cost of US$4000 - US$5000 (including backup server costs and incidentals). Now we understand that most of our readers are probably facing hard times and things may not be looking good, but we are still hoping that able and concern readers could still help to defray the cost by contributing towards the critical overhaul. We hope to be able to commence the overhaul by the end of August, (shutting down the website during the PE) so we would appreciate any support our readers can render, big or small. Please use the PayPal button below to contribute, if you are willing to help. Support TR EmeritusSGD - $20SGD - $50SGD - $100SGD - $250SGD - $500SGD - $1000Or Other Amount: jQuery(document).ready(function($) { $('.wp_accept_pp_button_form_classic').submit(function(e){ var form_obj = $(this); var other_amt = form_obj.find('input[name=other_amount]').val(); if (!isNaN(other_amt) && other_amt.length > 0){ options_val = other_amt; //insert the amount field in the form with the custom amount $('').attr({ type: 'hidden', id: 'amount', name: 'amount', value: options_val }).appendTo(form_obj); } return; }); }); If we are able to obtain reasonable contributions from our readers toward the critical overhaul, the team will jointly help to cover any minor shortfall, to keep TRE going. Thank you very much for the continued support.   Team@TRE    * Total amount received will be updated on the scrolling marquee on an as-and-when basis. ** All donors will receive a 1-year complimentary membership to TRE, with the ability to read archived articles that are 3 months or older and own a unique nick that is exclusive. No activation is required as the system will auto-generate the login credentials to the PayPal address that made the donation.        Read More →

It’s about people, people, people. You make connection. You nourish them. You network. Professor Charles Galunic makes a few good point about networking. You can read the article for them, like, diversify your network, don’t wait until you hit a crisis to network, don’t be held captive by your ego (don’t be a prima donna), and don’t overindulge in cliques. This is not for everyone, but getting yourself out there is necessary if you are running a career, a club, or even a church. The latter is done much more subtly, but no less intentionally. The gospel message is essentially about reaching out. It’s a race for life, and against death, so to speak. They say if you offer something needful, useful and even hopeful, they will make a beeline to your door. If you hit a goldmine of an idea, like FB, KFC recipe or AI, you can rest on your laurels and reap in the harvest. It’s a lifetime of leg shaking after that, right? Well, there is a lot of hard work that goes into securing those breakthroughs. Alas, we are naturally drawn to bright lights. But a root hidden in the soil and growing an inch is unseen. Yet, they form the foundation of what is seen, and even glorious. So, going back to networking, it doesn’t come naturally to everyone. There’s no one size fits all here. Some of us are livewire in a crowd of perfect strangers, and we draw energy and vitality from chatting, mingling and engaging. We are physically exhausted, before we are emotionally sapped. Others, well, like me, we are hidden, maybe like searching roots, struggling for grounded connection. It takes a lot out of us, literally. Networking, for the latter group, takes stamina, a psyched-up mindset, and a purpose that goes beyond ourselves, our self-interest. That is the key. It is about you, yes, you need to grow your business, your club, your church. But it is also about how you can make a difference, an enduring impact. Yes, you get yourself out there, but not to hoard what you can hoard, but give what you can give. This is how the good professor puts it: / “One reason people loathe networking is because of the way it can be framed. Typically, it’s an ask, it can be seen as a selfish, self-promoting act. The caricature is that of a schmoozy networker who goes into it focused on getting something but giving as little as possible.” “But the best relationships arising from networking are a two-way street. Staring with a mindset of “give (first) and take” instead of “take, take, take.””. That makes sense. It’s about people, people, people. Relationship is highly relevant. The depth of that connection is what truly counts. Reality check: We can’t possibly be BFF with every tom, dick and harry. But, every tom, dick and harry will surely come our way, at some point, for a season, and how we respond, whether in kindness or otherwise, is what make us human being and connecting. What goes around, comes around. The boomerang of life is both redemptive and karmic. Hurt people hurt people. Helped people help people. Pay it forward, and someone will have your back. But stepping on other people’s back just to climb higher will end up with a harder fall. if you want solid backing, then go for authentic connecting. Maybe the lesson here for dummies like me who are more socially unexciting and reserved, is to take incremental steps towards networking. Keep the mind, and heart open. Step out of my shell, and mingle more. Engage on a deeper level. Remember that the small stuff matters as much as the big stuff, they all add up. And be realistic. The last time I checked, God gave me 24/hrs a day, 7 days a week. I can’t do it all. I shouldn’t lose myself; that “who I am” for “who I am clearly not”. But a little social experimenting and stretching is good for the hidden soul. Find the balance, push a little, lose yourself a little, but don’t lose yourself completely in the journey of self-discovery.   Michael Han * The author was a Director at Han & Lu  Law Chambers and blogs on Facebook.    Read More →