TR EMERITUS

Around two months ago, I got invited to a Stand-Up Comedy show hosted by the Association of Comic Artist (Singapore). The acts were great fun and it was an eye opener into a side of Singapore that few get to see. At the end of this event, the President of the Association, who is a British chap of Barbadian decent, and calls himself, “Singapore’s First Black President,” proceeded to distribute comic books that he and his team had come up with. These were locally made comics, created around Singaporean heroes. I have to admit that I’ve yet to go through the comics and thus cannot comment of what the comics are like. However, whilst I have not read the comics, I appreciate the irony of the situation. Here we have a group of comic heroes designed around Singapore and Singapore’s culture that were designed by someone born outside of Singapore. So, here’s the question – what has happened to Singapore’s heroes? Not only do we not produce heroes in real life, we can’t even produce them in fiction. In real life, we’re told that Singapore needs people from elsewhere to do things for us. You need economic growth; the solution is simple – invite the world’s richest to buy overpriced housing in Singapore. If you want innovation, invite a world-famous scientist to set up a lab here. The solution to just about every problem in Singapore is based on getting someone from somewhere else to come up with a solution. What is true in the “real” world is also true in the world of fiction. We know all the heroes of the DC and Marvel Universe like Superman and Spiderman but, until I met the chaps at the Association of Comic Artist (Singapore), there was no evidence of a local Singapore comic hero. Seriously, just walk into any given bookshop and you’ll find that the only hero that is allowed to exist in Singapore is Lee Kuan Yew. To his credit, the late Mr. Lee was a very special man who, like him or loath him, led a team that made Singapore a text book case study of how to build up a nation with not very much. However, it’s been 23-years since he stepped down as Prime Minister and eight-years since he died and the he remains the only Singaporean that we’re allowed to hero worship and turn into a cartoon. While Singapore does measure up pretty well against most places, we desperately need heroes. Our fabulously famous government is showing signs of getting creaky. I mean, we actually have a minister who is being investigated for corruption. The people whom we were trained to look up to, are looking, well rather less shiny. So, its time for a Singapore to get a new set of heroes, even if they are the comic book variety. Heroes in fiction have a way of inspiring heroes in real life. We need to make that mental leap into trying to be our own heroes rather than waiting for heroes from elsewhere to solve our problems for us. This is not to say we are closed to the outside world. It just means that we face the outside world like adults who can manage on our own without a crutch mentality that states that only people from elsewhere and politicians are the solutions to everything.   Tang Li *Although I’ve been based mainly in Singapore for nearly two decades, I’ve had the privilege of being able to meet people who have crossed borders and cultures. I’ve befriended ministers and ambassadors and worked on projects involving a former head of state. Yet, at the same time, I’ve had the privilege of befriending migrant labourers and former convicts. All of them have a story to tell. All of them add to the fabric of life. I hope to express the stories that inspire us to create life as it should be.      Read More →

We took the trouble to approach quite a number of political parties to come together to form the Alliance. Personally, I have always wanted to impart my knowledge and share my experiences with all new aspiring opposition members, so to contribute towards the building of a more balanced democratic political landscape for Singapore. I have this idea ever since I left WP in 2006. I reaffirmed the usefulness of such experiences when I joined NSP in 2008. My only regret was to sit back after GE2011 thinking that all would set to evolve with lots of new players coming into the picture. The sudden tremors in NSP just before GE2015 was a wake up call. Thus the birth of People's Power Party. We have no lack of people who want to play a role in opposition politics. But many were disappointed and left after some time. There wasn't a system of grooming newcomers. Apprenticeship or mentoring is obviously lacking (ok, not that type of mentoring which ended up in bad ending). Thus I promise myself that once this Alliance is formed, I would focus on grooming new faces, sharing my experiences and guide them on various aspects of political engagements. But it saddens me when so many political parties didn't see the value of joining the Alliance. The People's Alliance will have to prove our worth, both on the political formation front as well as the backend mechanism. We will not only field substantial number of candidates but we will also make sure that our candidates are well prepared and equipped with the relevant political skillsets. I would expect each and every candidate will become a real fighter at the front, not just a free rider.   Goh Meng Seng      Read More →

Click to enlarge Seven year itch may not be a myth after all. The trend points to its reality. Statistics don’t lie right? The highest proportion of break-ups came between the fifth and 10th years of marriage. It’s 16%. Those five years and below is 6.4%. This stats were taken in 2001. In recent years, the percentage has fallen. That’s a positive trend. For those who wed in 2005, 17% of the marriages were dissolved before their 10th anniversary. For those who wed in 2011, it’s lower, 14.5% (before the 10th year mark). It appears there is more stability in recent years. At the risk of stating the obvious, maybe the key to a long marriage is, well, its length. The longer you stay together, the longer you find yourself staying together. But length can be tricky. It can be tolerance or endurance, leading to apathy and mutual contempt. Or it can be a time of gardening and investing, leading to a harvest of intimacy, sacrifice and abiding joy. Many clients have told me that the only reason they remain married is for the sake of the kids. Once they graduate, or are enlisted, they pack up and ship out. They just can’t wait. It’s like a sentence, and they are counting down to that day when they are finally set free. Imagine that, spending years, if not decades, chained to an institution you have developed a hatred or disgust for. Hatred breeds hatred, and it runs on its own effortless momentum. Before long, love hardens into indifference, and the years are lost to a toxic bondage we can’t wait to break free from. I think the 7-year itch is the great litmus test of marriage. It may take about 7 minutes to walk down the aisle. But, it takes 7 years, not to see whether you guys are compatible, but to see whether you guys will put the marriage first before everything else. That is also the test of time, and only time will tell whether you are serious about your vows or not (when I falter, I always challenge myself, “Are you serious about your marriage?” Or “is it just another attachment in your frantic search for self-fulfillment?”). Make no mistake about it, compatibility is not the key to a lifelong marriage. It may be one of the reasons you dreamily say I do at the altar. But after that, it is the “I-still-do” that makes the difference. That calls for a commitment to fight for the seasons-proof union even when there are days you are able to whip up a thousand and one reasons to call it quits. That 7 years is your marital battleground to either turn your marriage into a resilient bond against all temptations or condemn it into a repressive bondage where contempt takes root. Sure, you may think you’ve married your childhood sweetheart or your prince/knight in shining armor at the altar. But they all change after the champagne glasses are toasted and the chocolate fondue stops flowing. Time, career, ambitions, children, discontentment, illness, disenchantment, and age are the seasonal bombardments to your marital union like the different tides that rise and fall in a day, from dusk to dawn. Marriage is a committed labour of love. For a seed doesn’t grow by itself. It’s most vulnerable in the beginning stages; or in the case of a marriage, in the first few years. The seed needs to be intentionally planted in moist soil. It needs to be watered, exposed to sunlight, and taken care of, round the clock, over the years, from sprout to seeding, from budding and flowering to ripening. If you want your marriage to bear good fruit, then make the years count by creating a deep sense of meaning together. For the meaning of love is to make love the meaning, not yourself. According to psychologist John Gottman, the marriage expert, he wrote that “in the strongest marriages…husband and wife don’t just “get along” - they also support each other’s hope and aspirations and build a sense of purpose into their lives together.” I have discovered that when couples share a deep sense of meaning, they resolve their conflicts not by putting each other down, but by building each other up. It hurts them even more to fight because they can’t stay in the state of silence and apathy for long. The pretenses can be unbearable. That separation pains them. It aches their heart. Couples in long marriages turn conflicts into truce, and truce into deeper understanding of each other. That’s how they mature, by learning to see the same situation in a different light. The next time, they know better and love even better. And they grow closer together by learning from each other. They understand that their spouses are different from them, and they respect and honour that difference because they too are different and yearn for that same understanding. They don’t force the issue and exploit that difference as a shortcoming or a liability. Instead, they offer love, patience and respect to close the gap, embracing the difference as a maturing process. It’s like winemaking where grapes are pressed, and pressure exerted, yet what comes out of it is fragrant wine, flowing and sparkling. Their love is forever young, because every conflict is a renewal, every fight a growth (In psychology, it’s called post-traumatic growth. In a marriage, it’s post marital bond). Let me end with what an ethics professor Stanley Hauerwas once wrote. “We never know whom we marry; we just think we do. Or even if we first marry the right person, just give it a while and he or she will change. For marriage, being the enormous thing it is means we are not the same person after we have entered it. The primary problem is…learning how to love and care for the stranger to whom you find yourself married.” Have a restful weekend.   Michael Han * The author is a Director at Hoh Law Corporation and blogs on Facebook.      Read More →