TR EMERITUS

One of the most prominent moments of the last week was getting in a screaming row over the phone with the godmother of a young man that we had just hired. She got the message that we were overworking him when she had told him to focus on his studies. The upshot of this argument was that we started behaving like divorced parents arguing over a kid. I called her an overbearing mother and she accused me of being an overbearing father. Then, temperatures cooled and we tried to reconcile, she asked me not to use words like Mummy and Daddy in relation to work colleagues because she felt the parental adjectives were “creepy.” While I’ve agreed with her not to use such adjectives in order to stay in a good place with her, I actually have a different perspective. She’s never been a parent but I have (and still am). I’ve realized that the experience of being a parent to a young adult is good grounding when it comes to the area of managing young adults (anyone over 21) in the work place. Kiddo, was probably one of the best teachers I could ever have. The first point that needs to be made is that being a parent is an emotionally challenging job. It’s a case of taking on obligation to care for another human being and as my mother said when I told her that I got Gina pregnant – “It’s a lifelong job – you don’t stop being a parent because a kid reaches a certain age.” So, when you take on a parental role, the role will involve taking on all sorts of obligations and how well or poorly you did depend on what that someone else has become. However, while the job comes with obligations, there is a small catch. The person that you take responsibility for won’t listen to you, thinks you’re a dinosaur and suspects that the best thing they can possibly do for themselves is to do the opposite of whatever you tell them to do. This combination makes the job frustrating. It’s a job requirement to except that you will inevitably be disappointed but at the same time you will have to respect their decision because its their life and their decision to make. The room for maneuver when guiding young adults is narrow. There are really only two things you can do. Firstly, you got understand that you are dealing with a grown man or a grown woman and not a small kid. Grown men and women expect a certain amount of respect as intelligent beings. The days when you could say that “I am your father/mother and I know best” will not wash. So, it helps when you sit down with them and explain the rationale of your instructions to them. It’s up to you as an older and wiser person to respect that the person you are talking to is an adult. If that said young adult ask you about the question about the rationale behind your instructions, explain it to them. Respect their ability to figure things out and they will inevitably respect that you may now a thing or two more than them. The second and more vital point about being a parent of a young adult that is especially applicable in the work place is the fact that young adults can be fairly observant and the old fashioned “I’m the boss” goes down as well as “I’m your parent.” Sure, they can accept that certain things might be different for the boss, but ultimately what they look to is you as an example. You need to be aware that they’re watching you and wondering if they want to be you when they get to your stage in life. So, the challenge for anyone managing young adults is this – what you say to them, is in many ways, not as important as what you show them. This requires stepping up your game. I mean, I never held a steady job for long. Then Kiddo came into my life and suddenly I became aware that what I did was probably going to shape her views on men. As such, I had to work, not so much because I needed to go towards household expenses but because in my mind, I wanted her to see a man go out and work and to be able to pay bills. I am glad to say that the two serious relationships that I’ve seen her in were with two guys who went to work and did what decent men do when it comes to taking care of the family Parenthood is a tough and demanding job. You could say that your management style needs to change on the job to suite the needs and the times. What you do as a parent is actually good training for you as a supervisor and as a person.   Tang Li *Although I’ve been based mainly in Singapore for nearly two decades, I’ve had the privilege of being able to meet people who have crossed borders and cultures. I’ve befriended ministers and ambassadors and worked on projects involving a former head of state. Yet, at the same time, I’ve had the privilege of befriending migrant labourers and former convicts. All of them have a story to tell. All of them add to the fabric of life. I hope to express the stories that inspire us to create life as it should be.          Read More →

Singapore businesses are too paranoid about security. They overdo their security protocols. They create unnecessary steps. They make life difficult for their customers and the public. The overloaded protocols also caused the platforms to behave erratically and to crash regularly. This has happened to our banks, commercial organizations and the government websites. I have encountered problems with online transactions frequently. In spite of these measures, the online scams are rampant in Singapore. My friend, who followed the statistics, said that Singapore has the highest rate of online scams among the countries in the world. I think my friend probably exaggerate in making this statement. We may not have the highest, but I think the frequency is quite high. Recently, I encountered difficulty in accessing my bank account as their 2FA protocol does not work. I fell back to input a manual PIN, that is generated from their app. They asked me to get a 8 digit "challenge" by SMS, and enter it into the app to get a 8 digit response. I had to do this entry a few times, because it is difficult to remember a 8 digit number, and I have to flip from one screen to another to complete the process. I also encountered a problem with my stockbroker. I submitted an order and was told that it was rejected due to "exceed limit". I checked. It was within limit. Their system was haywire. I was asked to wait for it to be corrected. Even making an online purchase is difficult. When I logged into the Lazada website, they expected me to enter the user code and password (which are necessary), but also to get a PIN sent by SMS for a second level authentication. This was unnecessary and troublesome. Worse, the SMS did not arrive immediately. I had to check a few times. I make purchases with Lazada Malaysia. They did not require a SMS PIN authentication. Nobody hacked into my account to make purchases. It is quite safe. I suspect that the use of 2FA authentication, even for online purchases, is mandated by the government. The people who make these rules do not appear to have a practical mind. If we continue to impose unnecessary and complicated requirements, we will make it difficult for businesses to transform their processes to adopt digital processes. They will face a lot of problem and give up. We need a more practical approach towards these problems.   Tan Kin Lian      Read More →

Late Adrain Tan You may not know me but I definitely know you through your deeds, good or bad. My chat groups are filled with criticism of you defending the Evil Rule of No Jab No Job as well as other discriminatory measures against those who have consciously chosen Not to risk their lives in taking the seemingly ineffective and unsafe experimental jabs. Your past postings have demonstrated your great legal minds used on justifying the Evil Rule based on the False Premises of "Safe and Effective" of the vaccines which real world data couldn't really support right from the start of the vaccination program. All of us believe that you have paid for this foolhardy mistake with your life and you should have known better by now. My cynicism of your misfortune and unfortunate early departure has gradually subsided when one of your friends have put up a post on your confession of remorse and feeling of contrite of being misled by the very institutions which you have "trusted and believed" in. But you lacked the courage to stand up and speak up against the power that be, even though you have realized you were most probably the victim of their gross mismanagement. Nevertheless, I feel sorry for you as you are now the apparent victim of your misplaced trust and belief in the very people whom you have used your superb legal mind to defend their evil rules. I would also forgive you for the unkind words you have put forward to criticize us the "Unvax" as well as Key Opinion Leaders like me in this struggle against Evil Rules and discrimination because inspite of your great legal minds, you really know not about the in-depth statistical inferences which could at the very least, cast serious doubts on the unsupported claim of "Safe and Effective". We shall forgive but not forget the wrongs done by establishment because we want to prevent it from happening again. I hope many others who are hurt by your words, your defense of the gross unjustified discrimination against us the Unvax, would forgive you too. You are now after all, the ultimate victim of the same Evil deeds. May You Rest In Peace.   Goh Meng Seng      Read More →